This test does not define you!

Helping Your Child with Test-Taking 

Parents, it's that time of year again.  Students will start preparing, discussing, and perhaps, worrying about, testing.  They will soon be taking finals, standardized tests, end of course, AP tests, or other types of assessments.  This is the time their brains will truly be exercised from all the material they have learned throughout the year. As their parents, you can be a great help to your child if you will observe these do's and don'ts about tests and testing:

• Do talk to your child about testing. It's helpful for children to understand why schools give tests and to know the different kinds of tests they will take.
• Explain that tests are yardsticks that teachers, schools, school districts and even states use to measure what and how they teach and how well students are learning what is taught. Most tests are designed and given by teachers to measure students' progress in a course. These tests are associated with the grades on report cards. The results tell the teacher and students whether they are keeping up with the class, need extra help or are ahead of other students.
• The results of some tests tell schools that they need to strengthen courses or change teaching methods. Still other tests compare students by schools, school districts or cities. All tests determine how well a child is doing in the areas measured by the tests.
• Tell your child that occasionally, he will take "standardized" tests. Explain that these tests use the same standards to measure student performance across the state or even across the country. Every student takes the same test according to the same rules. This makes it possible to measure each student's performance against that of others.
• Do encourage your child. Praise her for the things that she does well. If your child feels good about herself, she will do her best on a test. Children who are afraid of failing are more likely to become anxious when taking tests and more likely to make mistakes.
• Do meet with your child's teacher as often as possible to discuss his progress. Ask the teacher to suggest activities for you and your child to do at home to help prepare for tests and to improve your child's understanding of schoolwork.
• Do make sure that your child attends school regularly. Remember, tests reflect children's overall achievement. The more effort and energy your child puts into learning, the more likely it is that he will do well on tests.
• Do provide a quiet, comfortable place for studying at home and make sure that your child is well rested on school days and especially on the day of a test. Children who are tired are less able to pay attention in class or to handle the demands of a test.
• Do provide books and magazines for your child to read at home. By reading new materials, a child will learn new words that might appear on a test. Ask your child's teacher for lists of books for outside reading or get suggestions from your local library.
• Don't get upset because of a single test score. Many things can influence how your child does on a test. She might not have felt well on test day or she might have been too nervous to concentrate. She might have had an argument with a friend before the test or she might have been late to school because the school bus got caught in traffic. Remember, one test is simply one test.
• Don't place so much emphasis on your child's test scores that you lose sight of her well being. Too much pressure can affect her test performance. In addition, she may come to think that you will only love her if she does well on tests.
• Do help your child avoid test anxiety. It's good for your child to be concerned about taking a test. It's not good for him to develop "test anxiety." Test anxiety is worrying too much about doing well on a test. It can mean disaster for your child. Students with test anxiety can worry about success in school and about their future success. They can become very self-critical and lose confidence in their abilities. Instead of feeling challenged by the prospect of success, they become afraid of failure. If your child worries too much about taking tests, you can help to reduce the anxiety by encouraging the child to do the following things.
  • Plan ahead. Start studying for the test well in advance. Make sure that you understand what material the test will cover. Try to make connections about what will be on the test and what you already know. Review the material more than once.
  • Don't "cram" the night before. This will likely increase your anxiety, which will interfere with clear thinking. Get a good night's sleep.
  • When you get the test, read the directions carefully before you begin work. If you don't understand how to do something, ask the teacher to explain.
  • Look quickly at the entire text to see what types of questions are on it (multiple choice, matching, true/false, essay). See if different questions are worth different numbers of points. This will help you to determine how much time to spend on each part of the test.
  • If you don't know the answer to a question, skip it and go on. Don't waste time worrying about one question. Mark it and, if you have time at the end of the test, return to it and try again.

After the Test

Your child can learn a great deal from reviewing a graded exam paper. Reviewing will show him where he had difficulty and, perhaps, why. This is especially important for classes in which the material builds from one section to the next, as in math. Students who have not mastered the basics of math are not likely to be able to work with fractions, square roots, beginning algebra and so on.

Discuss the wrong answers with your child and find out why he chose the answers. Sometimes a child didn't understand or misread a question. Or, he may have known the correct answer but failed to make his answer clear.

You and your child should read and discuss all comments that the teacher writes on a returned test. If any comments aren't clear, tell your child to ask the teacher to explain them.

http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/succeed/partx.html

In addition, there is a great video on YouTube that I would encourage you and your student to check out called, "This Test Does Not Define You" by Kumar Sathy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFMjbs3hoiU

Children need models rather than critics." 

  — Joseph Joubert, French moralist

Promoting a Healthy Body Image

Body image is how we feel about our bodies. Whatever their size or weight, children can develop either a positive or negative view of their bodies. And, body image disturbances can begin as early as preschool, so parents and other adult role models need to play a pivotal role in promoting a positive body image for children.

Why? Young people with a positive image of themselves feel more comfortable and confident in their ability to succeed. They don't obsess about calories, food or weight. And, they have the energy they need to enjoy physical activity.

On the other hand, kids with a negative body image feel more self-conscious, anxious and isolated. They are at greater risk for excessive weight gain and for eating disorders.

Here are five ways you can give your child the gift of positive body image and help to prevent these problems.

Check Out Your Own Body Image Issues

Parental body image has a powerful influence on how kids feel about their bodies. If you talk about your thighs, your latest diet or your punishing workouts, your children will naturally absorb these negative messages. They will begin to worry about the size of their thighs and think they should be dieting.

Focus on Health ... Not Weight

For your kid's sake (and your own sanity), shift your focus from weight to health. Stop obsessing about numbers on the scale and concentrate on delicious nutrition and fun physical activity. Children don't need to work out; they need to play with family and friends. Children shouldn't be counting calories or restricting their intake; they need to enjoy regular meals and learn how to make smart, tasty snack choices.

Nutrition and fitness are great goals because they give us energy to do all things that we want to do. Whatever our age or size, we feel better when we take care of our bodies.

Find Physical Activities That Fit

Feeling fit, strong and capable is one aspect of positive body image. All children need regular physical activities that they enjoy. Some kids are natural athletes and love all sports they try. Other kids do better at individual activities, such as walking or riding a bike. Some may find their niche in yoga, karate or a hip-hop dance class. It doesn't matter what kids do for physical fitness; it just matters that they do something.

Watch Out for Bullies

Weight-related teasing is a major basis for bullying. Encourage your school to address the issue and to support nutrition and physical education that promotes health at every size. If you believe your child is being bullied about his or her weight or for any other reason, discuss your concerns directly with the school counselor or administrator.

Myth-Busting the "Perfect Body"

Help your child become a savvy media critic by talking about what they see on television, in magazines and online. Help them understand that the pictures of models they see in ads may have been retouched or otherwise manipulated to appear "perfect."

http://www.eatright.org/resource/health/weight-loss/your-health-and-your-weight/promoting-positive-body-image-in-kids

Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded."
  — Jess Lair, author

The Effects of Pushing Your Child Too Far

Whether it's potty training, involvement in sports, or academic excellence, parents sometimes struggle to find a delicate balance between setting high standards and pushing their children too far. For the past decade, Daryl Capuano, educator and founder of The Learning Consultants in New Haven, Conn., has been counseling parents on understanding key igniters in motivating children and the harmful effects of nagging.
"As a parent, you need to be in charge of inspiring your child," says Capuano. "However, if by 'inspiring' you mean 'nagging' or 'criticizing,' you should know that nagging is not effective in the long term, even though it is sometimes the most efficient way to get a result in the short term." There are potential pitfalls when you push your child too far.

Avoidance
When a child hears a message repeatedly, she starts to view it as a big negative. If you often tell your child, "You are not going to get into college if you don't study harder," she might avoid studying or any discussion of college. She could begin to slack off on homework or even skip school. This pressure creates a significant motivation deflation, warns Capuano. Even a very young child will lose interest in playing baseball if he fears he's not measuring up to his parents' expectations. Be supportive and praise accomplishments, but don't lose track of your purpose.

Stress
"It is only through accomplishing things that children develop earned self-esteem," says Dr. Eric Herman, a clinical psychologist at Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit. When a parent pushes too much, the result is an overwhelmed child who is too stressed out to get things done. Your child needs to relax and have fun. It will help him recharge his batteries, just as relaxation helps you recharge your batteries for work.

Illness
When kids are pushed and suffer stress, they also experience anxiety and depression, which can surface as physical symptoms like headaches and stomach pain, says psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini, author of "Parents Ask," a monthly advice column for "Houston Family" magazine.
If your 12-year-old son is having trouble in math, he may be so overwhelmed and afraid that he feels sick each Friday before his math test. First, take him to the doctor to rule out any physical issues. Talk to your son when there is no stress. He needs to know that both you and his father are supportive and believe in him. Assure him that there's a solution. You can provide love and support that will help him get through this difficult time and teach him coping and problem-solving skills for life, says Rapini.

Broken Spirit
Loni Coombs, author of "You're Perfect ... and Other Lies Parents Tell," has a unique perspective on parenting in today's world. As a former prosecutor for the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office, she saw family after family face the reality that their children weren't perfect. In her book, she relays a story of a mother saying to her young daughter, "If you don't mind me right now, Santa Claus won't come." Initially, the threat worked and resulted in instant obedience. The mother repeated the phrase for weeks until one day her daughter simply replied in a quiet, defeated voice, "I don't care anymore if Santa comes or not."
Coombs advises parents to "be open and communicative with your child about your reasons for wanting her to do what you are asking." Don't just use a "Because I said so!" attitude.

Misbehavior
Some children inwardly suppress sadness and depression, while others display outward signs of anger. They may act out at home or in school. "For the antiauthoritarian child, rebelling against authority is the only way to secure freedom," says Capuano. "When such children are constantly being barked at by their parents, their resolve to rebel will only increase." Use a calm and caring approach with your child.

Altered Parental Relationship
A parent-child relationship can transform from unconditional-love-giver-to-child to one that more resembles boss-to-employee, says Capuano. This might be the most significant and saddest effect of all. A child who only a few years ago was happy to play with mommy now wants to avoid mommy, much the way a worker wants to avoid his boss. If a child becomes conditioned to work only when nagged, he remains outer-directed. If he doesn't transition into being self-directed, he inevitably will flounder when his parents are not around to direct him.

by Karen LoBello
http://mom.me/parenting/5262-effects-pushing-your-kids-too-far/

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children."
  — Nelson Mandela, Former President of South Africa